Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Losing someone close to you.

Hello & Welcome!

Good morning! Todays post isn't going to be a very happy one but it's something I feel will help me write down in a safe place. I've never been one of these people that writes huge things about their life and everything that makes them sad all over annoys me! But I want to write this on here so I can carry on with my day.

Today, January 28th, marks the anniversary of my dads death.
Since it's 2015 that means it has been 16 years. I was only 6 when he died, so he's been gone for the majority of my life, and for some reason I feel like I have no right to feel sad on this day. This blog post is just to explain why.

I touched upon the reason I feel like this on my instagram account this morning. Mainly it's because I don't remember him very well. I am often confused in my mind whether a thought I have is my own memory, or something I've been told so many times that I think it's my memory.
Don't get me wrong I absolutely love hearing stories about him. If people didn't tell me things then I may have nothing at all!

I often feel really jealous. Even resentful. I really don't want to feel like this but it just happens.

This is something I really hate to admit because it makes me feel like I'm a really awful person but a lot of this resentment I feel is directed towards my dads other daughter, my half sister. I feel this every time she posts something about Dad on her facebook! She, unlike me, is one of these people that finds it easy to post every detail of her life on her facebook, and around this time of year she posts a lot of statuses about dads death.

Don't get me wrong, she has every right to do this! She was older than me and I'm very aware that she is hurting. It's a flaw in myself more than a flaw in her.
It's a really hard thing to explain. I think I dislike the fact that she actually has something to write about him on this day.

She can list all the things she misses and tell people the memories she has of them doing things together...the things he would say, the sound of his laughter, the way he felt when he hugged her.
I don't have any of that.
I can't remember any of that.
I have no memory that particularly sticks out in my mind.

It truly makes me feel less of a daughter. And I think I resent her because I just wish that she didn't remember so much because it feels UNFAIR. I don't feel like its fair that she, and everyone else remembers so much and I remember so little.

But how selfish is that?! OF COURSE, I don't want them to forget him! I really don't. I feel like I wish they didn't remember him so much, but the truth is I wish I remembered him more.
But it's easier for me to resent them than it is to admit that I feel guilty for not remembering.

It's a really difficult thing that I really cannot explain.
I just wish I had of had longer with him, so that I could have some memories too. 

 When everyone else is feeling sad today, thinking of their memories and the things that they miss about him, I spend the day feeling sad because I wish I had something I could say that I miss about him.
And I truly don't know which of these is worse.
Believe me though, not having anything to miss, doesn't make me miss him any less. I miss him every day. I wonder what could have been if he was still here, and what my life would be like.
You don't need memories of person to miss them.
You can just miss them because of what you have lost.

Friday, 23 January 2015

Summer Holidays!

Good Morning & Welcome!
I am really super excited this morning!
I have just paid for my summer holiday in full!
It is done! We are really definitely going! :)

In 2013 I went to Zante (Short for Zakynthos) which is a really beautiful greek island...I do love my greek islands! It was so so lovely...I went with my parents and I had a fabby time but I also thought it would be lovely to go back with a friend (no offence 'rents)!

So, thanks to my lovely grandparents, I am going back with my bestest friend in the world!

We are staying in a lovely 4* all inclusive hotel from the 28th June-12th July...we even have a sea view superior is all very exciting.

I absolutely cannot wait....I don't mean to wish my life away but time needs to HURRY UP!

Monday, 5 January 2015

2014 Favourite Products!

Hello & Welcome!

As promised, I'm doing a little review on what have been some of my favourite products of the year 2014!

There are quite a few of them, and the ones I'm showing you now certainly aren't the whole lot, just the ones that stick out most in my mind.

These reviews will not be as in depth as they could be as I'm just going to pop down the reasons why I've been loving them so much this year, so if anybody would like a more in depth review of any of these products then please just say! :)

So, here is all my favourites in one little pile:

Sleek Cosmetics

One brand that I really love and quickly became one of my favourites in 2014 is 'Sleek Cosmetics'. Sleek is really affordable and all of their products are super high quality. The products pictured above from left to right are the contour and highlight kit, the brow kit and one of their many blush sets.
I'll give you a quick low down of them all individually..

Face Contour Kit in Light: I really love this because its super pigmented and goes on really nicely. The contour part of the kit is light enough on my skin that it looks like a natural shadow and also blends super easily so you don't get any of those harsh lines that can sometimes happen with contouring. The highlighter is really nice and compliments the shade of the contour perfectly. It's not overly glittery, just enough to add a lovely glow to your face. I can  sometimes find that powder highlights go a bit flaky too but this one stays looking lovely all day! LOVE this little kit!

Brow Kit in Dark: For YEARS I have struggled with my brows. For a long time I've been using a pencil but still always thought that they looked a bit silly, then a friend recommended me this kit and I thought I would give it a shot, as I had used sleek eye shadows before and really loved them. I could not believe how good this actually is! The darkest colour is described as 'pigmented wax' but the consistency is actually really creamy and goes on so nicely, and the brushes that come with it are absolutely amazing too...perfect for the job in hand! It also comes with a setting powder that leaves your brows smudge free all day! I couldn't recommend this enough. I'll never use anything different now! Another great thing is how long it lasts too. I've had this kit for about 5 months now and use it almost every day and there's still so much product left! BARGAIN!

Blush by 3 in Pink Lemonade: These blushes come in the shades 'Icing Sugar', 'Macaroon' and 'Pink Mint' which I think are absolutely adorable names! My favourite blush out of these is definitely the Pink Mint one, which is the darkest colour pictures as its a lovely shade for my skin tone. I also really love the Icing Sugar but this can sometimes seem like a pink toned highlighter. If I'm not using any highlighter then it is PERFECT but it can otherwise get a bit too shimmery but its still a gorgeous shade.  The centre colour is macaroon and whilst I really like the colour, its the only cream blush of the lot and unfortunately I'm not a huge fan of cream blushes so this one isn't my favourite, but I'm sure it'll suit a lot of you, its just personal preference. The blushes are super pigmented, almost creamy in texture and go on and blend really nicely. Amazing considering the price :)

Salted Caramel Yankee Candle

I absolutely adore this candle! I got this whilst I was Christmas shopping in blue water and fell in love with it! It truly does smell like salted caramel! It makes my bedroom smell so good and it lasts a really long time too. I bought this one at the beginning of December and I have burnt it every day for the last month and I'm only half way through! It's amazing and my first Yankee Candle, I can't wait to try more!

Zoella Beauty Products.

I actually got these as a present for Christmas but they've quickly become a firm favourite! They smell absolutely amazing! The scent is the same in all of Zoella's products and I have heard people criticise her for that, but I couldn't care less because they smell so good! They're a very fresh/sweet scent almost like some of the soap and glory scents but a tad more mellow. I really love them, they make me feel super girly and pretty and are excellent value for money. I also absolutely adore the packaging, so beautiful! The only downside to these is that the scent doesn't linger on your skin for quite long enough!

Snow Leopard Vodka

Now this is bit of a random one, I promise I'm not an alcoholic! If I'm going to drink, my drink of choice is always vodka or wine. This vodka was a gift from my friend and I love it for 3 reasons..1) It's vodka! 2) I really love the bottle, its really pretty and I love leopards! I also really like the cork cap and 3) 15% of all profits that this vodka makes are given to snow leopard conservation products! So you can have a good time and also be doing your bit for charity!

Face Make up

My favourite make up products for my face in 2014 have definitely been these. They're the 'Rimmel Wake Me Up' foundation, which gives a really lovely coverage whilst making your skin look dewy and healthy and awake followed by the 'Soap And Glory: One Heck Of A Blot' translucent pressed powder which keeps your foundation in place all day and keeps your skin looking flawless.  I apply both of these with my real technique expert face brush which helps to blend it all really nicely!

Toast Marshmallow Room Fragrance

This lovely stuff is from a company called Coley & Gill and it smells AMAZING...Like marshmallows with a slight caramel scent to it. It makes my room smell beautiful all day long. This combined with the salted caramel candle makes my room smell like a sweet shop which is just lovely in my opinion! And it's pink so I obviously love it even more for that reason. The best news of all?! It's from POUNDLAND! Can you believe it?

DreamWeave Lip Voltage

Oh boy, what can I say?! This isn't any ordinary lipgloss. You actually squirt a little bit of a peptide & collagen formulation (see syringe) and mix it into the tube and this works together to plump your lips. Now, slight warning, this is not for the faint hearted. This really blooming stings and does make your eyes water, especially if you go to max. voltage and put 3 drops in! HOWEVER, it is more than worth it! It's truly the only lip plumping gloss I know that actually works and people really notice a difference! People I work with have actually asked me what looks different about me, that my lips look healthier and all sorts. SO worth it, especially if you have thin lips. It doesn't make it look silly either, just really natural, full lips. The lipgloss itself is clear but has great staying power, and isn't unbearably sticky. Most amazing thing ever.

Eye highlighter and concealer.
My favourite products to make my eyes look more awake in 2014 are these two. They are the Collection 2000 Lasting Perfection Concealer (which the writing has rubbed off of, a common problem it would seem) and the Milani brow and eye highlighter. I love the collection concealer because it does and amazing job of covering under eye bags and also making you look much more awake. It also has some real staying power! It is absolutely amazing and affordable. The Milani Highlighter is also a fab purchase as I had been looking for something like it for a long time. I find that using a pencil highlighter on my brow bone is so much easier than using a powder and this pencil is soft enough that it can also be blended out easily. For my brow bone I use the lighter end, and the I use the darker colour just to highlight the inner corner of my eyes and make them pop! :)

Urban Decay Anarchy Face Case

I wanted to include extra pictures for this because the packaging and the colours are just so pretty! It's well known how amazing urban decay are at making eyeshadows & I've always loved their range. When I saw this collection I straight away thought that the colours were amazing, especially the silver and the glittery pink. The pigmentation of the colours are amazing and they blend so nicely together. There's so many looks that can be made too! The only little downside with the shadows is that they create quite a lot of fall out but this is really easily wiped away with any brush and doesn't create any smudging on your face when you do. The blushes are also really amazing. I use the light one sparingly when I put it on as it is very pigmented but it's also lovely and makes you look like the col has just caught your face on a winters day. I'm not as keen on the highlighter in this kit unfortunately, as theres not much colour pay off to it and I find myself having to apply layers and layers of it to be able to see it. However, some people might just want a subtle glow and it might suit them, it just doesn't live up to the highlighter from my sleek kit.
This set also includes a pinkish red lip gloss pencil and an eyeliner which were both amazing but I have misplaced them somewhere...booo!

Milani Eye tech extreme liquid eyeliner

I've been really really loving this eyeliner in 2014! The colour is really black straight away so you don't need to keep going over the line and the nib is fine enough and long enough for it to be easy to control for the perfect flick! Another great thing about this eyeliner is that it dries almost immediately and lasts all day...even when I work a busy 13 hour shift! It's staying power is incredible, not a smudge in sight! (Not so great if you make a mistake when putting it on though!) This stuff does not budge!

TonyMoly Appletox honey face cream.

This stuff is so incredible. Unfortunately my little apple stalk came off in the post...but look how amazing this packaging is! It's so cute. The cream itself is amazing too. Its very thin, but gloopy? Can't really think of a better word! Think the consistency of honey but not sticky! And it smells just like fresh apple juice! It goes on really nicely and is super soothing on the skin and you end up smelling lovely with baby soft skin...what could be better than that?


My favourite perfumes of the year! The first one is 'Freak' by Illamasqua. It's so hard to describe this scent. I would say its quite a sexy and dark scent. Almost woody with a fruity undertone and  bit of spice, but also fresh at the same time! ...I don't know but its's intriguing and mysterious. I cannot stop smelling myself when I put it on, it's amazing. The second one is 'Couture La La' by Juicy Couture which is just the most lovely fresh, fruity, pick me up scent that there is. It's so feminine and beautiful..I love it. I would saying that Couture La La is my day scent and Freak is my evening scent.

Skin Care/Prep

Two slightly random things to do with the skin that I have been loving are the 'MONU Fiji facial treatment oil' and 'Dr Jart Recover Primer'. The Monu oil is great for rehydrating your skin. I find that when I have a bath my skin feels really tight and dry afterward but if I just pop a drop of this in my hands, rub it to warm it up and put it on my face, my skin feels amazing literally straight away, not only that but it smells really good too! And the Reover Primer is something that took me a long time to get the hang of using, as I've never really used a face primer before but I won't be going back now. This feels like you're putting silk on your skin & really does even you out before you pop the rest of your make up on. It also helps your make up to stay put for longer which is fab too!

So there you have it, a couple of my favourite products of 2014. This is by all means not the only products that I've been loving in the last year, it's just a few that immediately spring to mind that I've been using the most frequently.

I hope that you've enjoyed reading this (if of course you have!) and if you want any thing else like this or a more in depth review including swatches etc of any products mentioned, please do let me know!



Friday, 2 January 2015

Welcome to my very first blog-a-roo!

Hello & Welcome!

So here we have my very first blog post!
2015 has just begun & I've been thinking about creating a blog for a very long time now and I thought to myself, since it's the beginning of a brand new year, what better time to start than now ?!

My aim of this here blog is to talk to about all thinks beauty and all the other little girly bits that I adore...I'm a big fan of pink things, don't you know! I'm also hoping to write about my weight loss journey and anything else that's going on in my life which I feel is worthy of writing about, and who knows...somebody might actually read these blabbering's one day!

As this is my brand new blog and it is a brand new year I thought I'd just jot down a few little new years resolutions...whether or not I'll keep them is a different matter entirely.

1) Be more adventurous, have more fun, live life to the full.

Well, I've been a bit cheeky there and rolled 3 in to 1 but the results to all of these are just about the same thing. I've spent too many of my 22 years being too scared to try something new and this has generally meant that the fun experiences I've had are minimal mainly because I've not wanted to actually go out and do them. This year I want to 'feel the fear and do it anyway' and hope that this leads to a more fun filled and fulfilling year for me :)
2) Get to Target (weight loss)
There's been far too much putting this off...I've toyed with this for almost 2 years now and although I lost almost 4 stone, I've been my own worst enemy and put a lot of that back on! TIME TO KICK MY OWN BUTT....and aim to lose about 8 stone by the end of the year...eeeek.
Can't even tell you how long I've loved the idea of having my own beauty blog, because I love writing things and I love beauty but I've always thought that someone like me can't do it...but why can't I?! I want to, so I will...and hopefully I will keep this one going and not have it as another thing I've given up on !

That's all for now, I'm going to try and do a little beauty review of some of my favourite products of 2014 for my next post!

Jen xo